Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
