Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
