I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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