wakey wakey hands off snakey
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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