At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
