Don't you send me to vm
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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