No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
