ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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