A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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