My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
