I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
