is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
