So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
