Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize