I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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