I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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