You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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