she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
