He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
