it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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