He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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