So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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