stop calling my apartment porn island.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
