I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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