but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
