Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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