Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
