Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
