bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
