can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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