Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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