i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize