dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
