thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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