I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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