i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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