That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
