You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Randomize
