Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
