just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
