Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
