another moral hangover. fuck.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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