Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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