Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
