And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
