Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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