You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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