She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
