I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
