He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
