the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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