you guys were way drunker than both of me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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