she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
