pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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