She said her name was "party"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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