Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
