ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
