Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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