She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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