gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
