Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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