would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
