"it" just moved
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize