From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
