I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
